In the Beginning I Was Fourteen
by RogueMarieLeBeau
Summary: We were all fourteen once and then we grew up! See some of this growing up process through the eyes of an outcast among outcasts. Rogue.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: None of the X-Men belong to me. Too bad for me too bad for the characters. Oh well. No money's being made and I don't have a job. (That's why I have so much time to write fan fiction). That said please enjoy and I hope you love Marvel's Mighty Mutants as much as I do!! Please read and review!!   
  
In the Beginning I Was Fourteen   
By: Rogue Marie LeBeau   
Journal Entry September Twenty-Fifth   
  
Sept.25   
  
I hate this place!!! I hate how they make me feel because of my past.   
  
My parents cast me off. They didn't know how to deal with me. They said it was hard enough to deal with a teenager without that teenager having a death touch. So they turned to what at the time was called "Project X". They promised to cure me. Now I know it as Weapon X 'cause all they wanted me for was a weapon.   
  
When I escaped the project I hated humans. First my parents who had abandoned me, then the scientists who had used me. I hated them for hurting me, using me. Magneto promised me another life. It turned out he only wanted to use me too. For his "war on humanity". Once again I was used.   
  
The only reason I'm here now is cause it was this or juvie. My parents, as usual made the choice for me. I don't belong here. None of the others want me here. They're afraid of me. All I am to them is an outsider, a trouble maker, an outcast. They don't want to try and understand who I am, how I feel, what I want. To them I'll always be a "Rogue".

I just wanna be a normal 14 year old girl. Music, friends, clothes....boys.


	2. Chapter 2 November 14th

Disclaimer: The Mighty Marvel Mutants (a.k.a. The X-Men). Do Not Belong to me. No money blah blah blah I need a job blah blah blah. This story is based on The Ultimate X-Men but is not strictly cannon. (That means I will make-up some things so please don't say "but so-in-so is dead" or "so-in-so can't do that".) I will try and stick to the Ultimate X-Verse as much as possible. But this is fan fiction so I might have a surprise or two up my sleeve!   
  
"Speech"   
  
Thought   
  
-Journal entry-   
  
In the Beginning I Was Fourteen   
By: Rogue Marie LeBeau   
Chapter 2: November 14th   
  
"Magneto's target is here" Professor Charles Xavier sat before his students pointing at the large screen in the center of the war room. "This hydroelectric power plant and dam provide electricity and water for over eighty-thousand people in three communities. They also provide power to this weapons factory."   
  
The picture of the dam and power plant faded and a large factory full of workers appeared on the screen.   
  
"The weapons here are used strictly for military defense purposes. However, Eric believes that the government is secretly using this facility to reestablish the Sentinel program. He plans on destroying the dam and thereby cutting power to the factory. Without power it would be nearly impossible for the factory to protect themselves. It would shut down the security system. Then Magneto could take control of the factory as well as all of the weapons inside."   
  
Cyclops brought his clenched fist down upon the table. "Professor if he destroys that dam not only will he have control of the weapons, but who knows how many lives he will put in danger. That would flood the entire valley!"   
  
"Precisely. That's why I want to break you up into three groups. Shadowcat, Beast, and Nightcrawler are in charge of evacuating the town. Storm, Jean, and Iceman, I need you to guard the dam and to provide containment if necessary. You will also provide a diversion so are third team can gain access to the factory, Magneto and the Brotherhood."   
  
Rogue sat on the edge of her seat, anticipating being on that third team, the team that took Magneto head on. Finally ah'll have a purpose..be a part of a team. And on the front lines too. The butterflies in her stomach caused her to smile in nervous anticipation.   
  
Xavier continued, "Cyclops, Wolverine, and Colossus will be on the third team. The team will be solely responsible for stopping Magneto and the Brotherhood."   
  
Scott's jaw dropped as he eyed a very smug Logan. "But Professor" he protested, "Do you think that's such a good idea?"   
  
"What's wrong Scottie?" Wolverine growled " 'Fraid I'll show ya up?"   
  
"No!" Scott yelled back leaning forward as if to challenge him. "I'm afraid your hotheaded temper will get us all killed!"   
  
"You wanna see hotheaded temper boy scout," Wolverine snarled.   
  
"Bring it on" Cyclops taunted coolly.   
  
"Stop" the Professor's tone assured them he meant business. "You need to learn to work together or you will put not only the mission in jeopardy but all of your lives and the lives of countless civilians as well!"   
  
Rogue heard none of the arguments, none of the shouting. She saw none of the silent choosing of sides of the others. All she knew is once again she had been rejected left out. And why? Logan has a criminal past. So do Nightcrawler and Colossus. Heck just 'bout everybody here has somethin' t' hide! It must be a mistake maybe he just forgot me or somethin'?   
  
"Um... Professor?" Rogue interrupted the arguing.   
  
"Yes, Rogue?" the Professor turned to her grateful for a distraction from the bickering.   
  
"Ah..uh..ah really think ah can be useful t' y'all on this mission." She swallowed hard as she realized all eyes were on her, their looks uncomfortable. "Ah know Magneto and the Brotherhood. Ah know how they work. That an' ah can take 'em out quick."   
  
Xavier shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Rogue. First you are still on probation and my responsibility is to make sure you keep the terms of that probation. Secondly there are those in the Brotherhood who hold a serious grudge against you for joining the X-Men."   
  
Rogue's heart sank as the others prepared to leave. Shadowcat and Iceman are the same age as me. There they go. They're important, needed. She wished she knew how they felt to be a part of that, to be a part of a team, friends who had each other's backs. What she wouldn't give for a friend like that. As the team headed off together, Rogue headed off to her room alone.   
  
-Nov 14-   
  
-They say I can't go...again. Well, at least the professor did. He gave me his reasons. Probation. The Brotherhood. But I know the truth I saw it when they looked at me. They don't trust me.-   
  
Rogue wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She felt so alone as she finished the last lines in the journal entry.   
  
-Worse yet these people I have to live with for God knows how long...... are afraid of me.-   
  
Rogue shut her journal and shoved it under her mattress. She flopped down on the bed, grabbed her stuffed bear to her chest and tried to cry away the pain and loneliness gnawing at her heart.


	3. Chapter 3 December 25th or All I Want fo...

Disclaimer: Same old same old y'all. Nothing is mine including Kelly Clarkson or her CD Thankful. There are sooo many songs on there that remind me of Rogue!! Marvel's Mighty Mutants are Marvel's. No money here if I did I'd be anywhere but Ohio!! Oh an' please Read and Review ThanX!!   
  
"Speech"   
Thought   
-Journal Entry-   
  
In the Beginning I Was Fourteen   
By: Rogue Marie LeBeau   
Chapter 3: December 25th or All I Want for Christmas is a Friend   
  
The mansion was decked out in the usual holiday garb of pine, holly, and tinsel as the students spent their first Christmas together. Most of the students had spent time earlier in the week with their families. Actually Rogue was the only one with a family that hadn't gone home.   
  
"Ah'm sorry hon now's just not a good time" her mom had told her a week earlier in one of their rare phone calls. "Ah hope ya like the gift ah sent though."   
  
The gift had come a few days later. A pair of long black gloves. The card was the picture kind from Wal-Mart, the message already printed, their names already printed.   
  
Well, ah guess ah could use these she thought as she shoved them with about forty other pair into a dresser drawer. She sat the card on the desk in the corner. Her parents sat there smiling back in front of a fake fireplace scene. They looked so complete sitting there without her. Just like a happy couple without a mutant daughter to tie them down or embarrass them in front of their friends.   
  
Now, Rogue sat at the end of a table, on Christmas evening, trying to swallow turkey past the lump in her throat. She couldn't even really taste the food mainly she just pushed it around on her plate and wished the evening were over. The rest of the X-Men laughed and swapped stories about past holidays or recent missions.   
  
Rogue felt totally left out from the friendly banter. She didn't have many memories of past holidays, most of the time her parents were busy with work, friends, or whatever 'get rich quick scheme' that they were currently involved in. Of course Rogue had yet to be included in a mission, and she thought it was safe to say no one cared to hear stories of Weapon X or The Brotherhood. Stories that she too wished she could forget.   
  
In the four months since she had been there Rogue had become very good at putting up walls and defenses around her feelings. As much as she tried to deny it the loneliness still hurt. She was still miserable, and to the others she came off as cold and aloof.   
  
"OK everyone, Storm and I are going to do the dishes. Everyone else head to the tree. It's gift time!" Jean announced cheerfully.   
  
Cheers and laughter rose from everyone as they raced off for the rec room.   
  
When everyone sat down they broke off into pairs or into a group. Scott and Jean. Hank and Ororo. The rest of the X-Men Kitty, Kurt, Logan, Bobby, and Piotr sat together around the tree. Rogue took a spot in the corner just off enough from the others without calling attention to the fact.   
  
She had managed to buy a small gift for each of the X-Men, either a book, or a scarf, or in Logan's case some wax for his bike. Rogue was satisfied with her choice of gifts.   
  
Doesn't matter anyways if they like 'em or not. She tried to convince herself while praying that they did like them.   
  
Everyone opened and showed their gifts off. Some where silly, like the Twinkies that Bobby bought Hank or the bunny slippers that Kurt got Kitty. Some of the gifts were sweet and romantic like the locket that Scott bought Jean or the silver ankle bracelet that Hank gave to Ororo. But there was one thing that they all had in common they were perfectly picked by the giver with the one receiving the gift in mind. These people knew each other and there was a great deal of care and thought in each and every gift.   
  
When they opened their gifts from Rogue each person politely thanked her and then moved on to the next gift.   
  
Well, at least they like 'em Rogue told herself though she only half believed it.   
  
Rogue was the last to open her gifts. When she was finished there were eight pairs of gloves. One pair each from Kitty, Kurt, Bobby, Scott, Jean, Hank, Ororo, and Piotr.   
  
Such nice gifts somethin' ah really needed She thought as she stared at the eight pairs of gloves. Eight pairs of gloves that seemed to scream 'don't touch me!' and 'don't get too close!'.   
  
Then there was the box of flowery stationary from the professor. "You really should write your parents more often" he encouraged her with a kind smile.   
  
Yeah maybe if they actually read 'em ah would she thought sadly.   
  
"Um thanks y'all. They're just what ah needed," She sounded sincere but no one noticed that her smile was sad. Well, almost no one.   
  
"Hey kid ya forgot one" Logan said tossing a package at her. It was a flat square gift with a tag that read 'To: Stripes From: Santa'   
  
Rogue had done enough paperwork while the others were off on missions to know the handwriting was Logan's. She tore off the paper that was totally out of character for Logan, smiling reindeer and penguins. The gift inside was so perfect that she was shocked. Then she remembered something from nearly a month earlier....   
  
Bang. Bang. Bang. "Turn down that blasted radio." Logan had yelled. Then he stuck his head into the doorway to her room. "I'm tryin' t' sleep."   
  
"Ah sorry Logan. Ah really like this song. Ah guess ah didn't realize how loud it was." She explained.   
  
"Well, listen t' your CD later." He grumbled.   
  
"Oh it's not a CD it's the radio, but ah'll turn it down. Sorry." She apologized again as she turned down the volume.   
  
"Yeah whatever." He mumbled as he walked back to his room.   
  
Now she sat there on Christmas morning holding the very CD that the song was on, Kelly Clarkson's Thankful. He had done his homework. She beamed at Logan.   
  
"Thanks Logan" she had to restrain herself from crying at the thoughtfulness of the gift.   
  
"Yeah kid" he fought back a grin. "Just don't blast it when I'm tryin' t' sleep."   
  
They all picked up torn wrapping paper and discarded ribbon throwing them into a huge trash can before scooping up their gifts and heading off to bed. Rogue went to the kitchen to get some water before going upstairs. On the way back she noticed Logan's gifts still in a pile on the floor and decided to find him and say goodnight. She noticed that the door to the garage was open.   
  
Even though the gifts from most of his friends were piled on the rec room floor, Logan stood in the garage using the gift that had meant the most. It wasn't the biggest or the priciest but it had been chosen with care and hope.   
  
Logan waxed his bike with a smile.   
  
A real smile.   
  
That smile meant more to Rogue than any gift that she had ever gotten. Silently she backed away and went up the stairs.   
  
"Goodnight Stripes and Merry Christmas" Logan said even though he knew she had left.   
  
Rogue was so tired she didn't feel like writing in her journal. But she knew she just had to.   
  
-Dec 25-   
  
-Today was Christmas and I got exactly what I wanted...a friend.-   
  
And slowly the walls and defenses started to come down. 


End file.
